Rachel & Shane Krider’s third episode of their personal development podcast teaches you how to find happiness. Below is a snippet of the podcast where Shane discusses how pain can drive you into vigilance and it’s important to use that drive to chase down our biggest desires.

Relying on other people isn’t the best way to go, contrary to popular belief. That will drive us into vigilance. We’re driven into vigilance because of let downs, because of failures, because of things that we didn’t expect. That is irritating! We are forced to wake up.

It’s like somebody coming in at five o’clock in the morning, and you’re in the middle of the best dream you’ve ever had. You’re just happy. There’s a small part of you that knows you’re dreaming; it’s like that lucid time. So, somebody comes in and starts trying to wake you up. You know that someone’s trying to wake you up, but you want to stay dreaming, you want to stay happy, and it pisses you off. By the time they get you to wake, you’re flat pissed off.

You see, that’s like pain driving you into vigilance. It’s no good, and there are people that walk around for decades irritated as hell just wanting to be left alone, wanting to go back to sleep, want to go back to that comfort zone because they’re forcibly brought up to the level of vigilance.

The other side of it is the carrot. So what’s the carrot? Well, if you work at a job and they have a compensation plan, that’s the carrot. But that isn’t the only carrot. You know, as human beings, we have things that were naturally interested in it; we naturally gravitate towards. We have things that we feel motivated to do, things about the world we feel motivated to change. We find purpose in our lives, but usually, the purpose falls somewhere between reality, being able to do something constructive with it, make money, be successful, and a fairytale land. As a result of that, most of us get pretty serious. We end up doing what we think we’re supposed to do to try and create our success.

But the carrot sight is where we want to be. We want to create a path, a life, and a lifestyle for ourselves that has us on the path to chasing something that we desire. It starts with a small goal. But that small goal needs to fall into alignment with a much bigger picture. Once you achieve that small goal you’re going to be like one of the astronauts once they made it to the moon: what the hell else do you do after you accomplish that? They got a bit depressed after they came back.

We want to create a life; we want to create a bigger picture of upward spiraling success. That means that our goal achievement parlays upon itself. One thing leads to a bigger thing, which leads to a bigger thing and so on. What all of that adds up to is something that’s even bigger, better, more exciting.

Shane Krider is a successful personal development life coach, producer, speaker, author, and entrepreneur. Along with his wife, Shane is the co-host of Born to Prosper’s Mind Power, which is a self-help podcast which challenges its listeners to delve deep into their minds to find success. In addition, Shane travels the world in luxury to speak to aspiring entrepreneurs at conferences and workshops to inspire them to find their own pathways to success. Shane Krider is part of The Prosperity of Life Network, a United States-based personal development business with a presence in 52+ countries.